Each week I promise myself I am going to get “it ” together. Each Monday comes and goes and not much changes. One day, I really do believe it’s going to happen, but, in all honesty, it won’t be today. I have gotten a little better with some things, and worse with others. I always thought when my kids were grown and life slowed down I would be sooooo good at being a middle aged woman. Yeah, well, whatever.
I have the time, just not the patience, and I’ve also noticed I cannot focus like I used to. I struggle just to read a book. Brain Fog. Sometimes I wonder if the rushing around HELPED me get things done, I had no choice, I couldn’t sit and wait till later because there’d be something else going on later. I had that mentality, the one I see so many mom’s with, that thought that busy-I mean crazy busy-is a good thing. I used to wear it like a badge. I see many small business owners doing it as well, using the words hustle and grind, acting like if you’re not working 24/7 you’re not working. The best line I ever heard was, “work smarter, not harder.” If that resonates with you, you may want to take a deep breath and slow your roll. In the same sense, you don’t want to slow it too much, cause it’s kinda hard to speed it up again. Life really is all about balance, but does anyone ever really find the right balance?! I’ve been struggling with that lately.
I’ve never been organized which I guess is part of the problem too, I have become a LISTS person. Not by choice, by necessity. Just ask ALEXA, she’ll tell ya! I sure do appreciate her “shopping list” option…no more leaving the list on the counter (Lord knows, my phone is always with me so my list is now too!) I have a written calendar, as well as my phone calendar, unfortunately, they very rarely match. That brings be back to the Brain Fog. IT’S SO ANNOYING. I know it must be just as annoying for those around me. I forget a lot and I repeat myself. I also start ALL THE THINGS and finish none of them. Menopause is not for the faint of heart! (I have found that I blame all my current issues on menopause, it’s easier than saying I’ve become lazy or careless.)
Pulling a big event together each month seems odd considering all the things I just told you about myself, but…that’s what I do. Currently, there are 22 vendors in The Original Building and there are 17 vendors in The Annex of Seaglass Salvage Market. We also have outdoor vendors when weather permits and a different food truck at each day of market. Marketing Seaglass as a whole is a job in itself, but I also need to Market Brad’s lights and my sweet little coffee shop. I feel like I spend an unbelievable amount of time online! There are many different apps out there that help you post daily, but I don’t want to lose my personality online. So for now, I’ll continue to do it old school. Plus, I am technically challenged, which means the things that are supposed to make my life easier usually stress the $h*t out of me…so, there’s that.
I love what I do, and I know that is a blessing. I see people, very close to me, working a job that makes them miserable but, if you’re the breadwinner, unfortunately, that is what makes sense for your family. I am very lucky to have a supportive husband and we are at a time in our life where we can breathe a little easier knowing our children are grown and almost all are out on their own. My life, as opposed to a young mom with a husband who “doesn’t get her dream,” is very different. So you can’t compare yourself and your small business to another. One thing I find myself saying, over and over, to people just starting out is, “don’t compare” and “stay in your lane.” The people who act like it’s so easy, struggle daily too…they just hide it better.
I guess my point is, you don’t have to be perfect to get it all done and there will be days where YOU DON’T get it all done…find your zone, admit your faults, learn and grow daily, admit when you need help and give help when you do know what you’re doing. As I sit in my lanai, typing this blog and listening to a pod cast, I have a local company cleaning my house…I cannot do it all, and I no longer am ashamed to say that out loud. I have grown into a woman who has become very transparent, because having a bad memory doesn’t really allow you to tell little fibs or leave out little details to make yourself look better…because I can’t keep up with what I tell to who, so I must tell the truth. THAT is very freeing, I am who I am, like me, hate me or maybe fall somewhere in the middle. Either way, you get what you get.
It has taken me 52 years to say out loud, I may not be everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s OK! Looking back I realize how much time I wasted trying to be everything for everyone. Age does have it’s advantages, it’s not all gray hair and menopause brain.