Seasons

Party girl. Teenage mom. Wife. Full time worker, mom of two. Stay at home mom of three. Struggling single mom. Full time worker, mom of three. (Very early) Retiree. Empty nester. Newlywed. Stepmother. Part-time worker. Business owner. Grandma.

I have spent a time in each of the above categories. I would change none of it, because I would probably not be where I am right now, and I love the season of my life that I am in. I may not appreciate it as much if I didn’t take the long, back roads to get here. I can remember what it was like to be a young mom, a young wife, a mom of three, a divorced mom of three. Life was not easy, looking back it wasn’t always as hard as it felt either. I remember praying for my youngest to go to school full time, now I would give anything to have my adult children be my babies again. I am so grateful that I have my grandson, what a wonderful blessing to see your childs child and sit and reminisce about when his daddy was little. There were many struggles, there were many tears, but above all, there was so much laughter, so much happiness.

I haven’t written a blog in a bit, not really sure WHAT to write about. Sick of the Pandemic BUT it’s where we are right now and it seems like you kinda have to write about it…but there isn’t much that hasn’t already been said. I have limited my time on Facebook because of All.The.Things. being said. SO MUCH, TOO MUCH. It’s really crazy to me how I am friends with so many people who are such extreme opposites, there really seems to be no happy mediums. It’s exhausting sometimes, but I am a happy lady in my bubble living in this lovely season of my life. Who knew my 50’s would be so…wonderful. My children are adults, we talk/text, and laugh. I miss them BUT love knowing they are happy. I am in a happy, healthy relationship. I can even appreciate the gift my ex-husband unknowingly gave me, he taught me the type of relationship I DID NOT WANT, and that helped me appreciate my second marriage so much. Sometimes lessons are hard, but in the long run, worth the outcome. Plus, I got three amazing humans that I wouldn’t give up for ANYTHING, ever. Life currently is haywire. SBA Loans, unemployment, an essential husband, worrying about a virus, worrying about my small business, worrying about a lot of small business owners, but knowing how lucky I am that I, and my family, is healthy. SO many things rolling around in my head.

I miss Seaglass, that once a month FUN and excitement. I am so looking forward to attempting a nice soft re-opening in a couple of weeks. I know a few of you are aware, but doubt EVERYONE knows of the dark cloud hovering over our special little Seaglass community. There is a very real possibility the property that SSM is on will be sold in the next few months. What does that mean for us? It means BIG changes. We are still waiting for a final word, one way or the other, and then we’ll figure it all out. We always do, right?! This really was not what we expected to follow a Pandemic. It’s a punch in the gut when someone else’s decision can make or break your business. In February I felt like we had crossed a bridge and things were just going to go UP UP UP andddddddd BAM, crazy how quickly things changed. This came about right after I promised myself this pandemic would NOT take out my small business. (Sigh) This, too, is just another season, another lesson. I know one day I will look back and think, well that was a blessing in disguise…it’s just hard to look at it that way while you are stuck in the middle of it. I have too much time on my hands to THINK. Sometimes I’m constructive and other times I lose it and have little mini meltdowns. (Deep Breath girl, you got this!) Thank goodness I have an amazing support team.

I will ask you to say a small prayer that we end up where we should be and grow into the amazing business I know we can be.

We are pretty excited to be using Calendly to schedule shopping times for our May Market, we are allowing 15 customer in the warehouses at a time. This app will help us keep it as organized as possible and limit any wait time. If you’d like to pop in, get some shopping done and head out (no dilly dallying, at least not yet!) please use this link to schedule your time with us https://calendly.com/seaglass/may-market, we ask you to try to get through both buildings within an hour. Social distancing will be a must, so we will also ask you to be aware of those around you and help us keep you and our vendors safe. We will be taking ALL precautions required to protect, sanitize, disinfect, limit contact and practice social distancing inside and outside the warehouses. Please pay attention to the new rules and regulations we will be following and will require of you as necessary, and as required, by our Governor. Visit our FB event for more info. If you are sick, please stay home…if you have a compromised immune system, please stay home. We understand you may not be ready to visit with us, and that is ok too! We hope you’re doing well and we look forward to seeing you again soon! Stay well, stay safe!

Thanks! Kelli 🙂

Waiting

So, how you doing? Emotions are running high, and in all honestly, they should be. As I sit here in the comfort of my home, I try to remember to be grateful. I am safe, many are not.  I have food in my fridge, many do not. My family is safe, not everyone can say that. My business is closed, most business owners can say that. It depends on the day, not that I always know what day of the week it is, on where my head is. Some days I feel like I am going to jump out of my own skin, and other days I wait for Brad to come home, we have lunch and binge on a NETFLIX series (Ozark is probably our favorite, so far.) Life has slowed, almost to a halt for me, but it hasn’t changed at all for Brad, except knowing I will be home when he gets home from work. Many jobs can be done from home, but certainly not ALL. If you are essential (I hate that term, aren’t we all essential?!) you risk your health every time you leave your home, and then in turn, risk your family’s health when you return. If your job cannot be done from home, you’re laid off, furloughed or worse case scenario, fired. So, you’re home, your’re safe, BUT you have no income. So many are struggling with the online process of applying for unemployment. Life changed for many in an instant one way or another. People who remain healthy have been affected greatly by a virus that took over the world, and then there are thousands dying, I feel guilty comparing what I’m dealing with when families are losing loved ones. It’s so crazy when you think about it, who would have ever thought 2 months ago THIS is were we’d be?!?

I am a business owner, and my business is different than most. It is an umbrella for 31 local small businesses (not including the local vendors who come and go each month.) My business is not the only business heavy on my mind. I see the ReOpen NC (and America) FB pages and I get it, but…

This is not a black or white situation, there is soooo much GRAY. Yes, I want my business open, yes I need to make money, yes the economy must operate, but, people are dying. My daughter lives in NY (a large amount of my friends and family do), one of my son’s has been laid off, he works for a casino in Las Vegas, a High School friend lost her husband from Covid-19. I see people struggling to keep their businesses afloat. I really do believe the stay at home order is helping flatten the curve and I really do believe the stay at home order is destroying families financially. I told Brad yesterday I hate people who sit on the fence, and here I am, being a true fence sitter. I can honestly see both sides. As a daughter & mother (and grandmother), I want my family safe. As a business owner, I know I cannot keep a business going if the doors are closed <—– That’s me sitting on the fence, just swinging my legs. Yes, there are precautions I can take. I wash my hands, I use hand sanitizer, I am very aware of what I touch, I use Clorox wipes, practice social distancing…I do All. The. Things. The problem is NOT EVERYONE ELSE DOES. I know a lot of small business owners who are ready to take all the precautions, and if you are a one on one business I can see this working, NO PROBLEM, but when you are dealing with groups of people I can see things getting out of control quick (I can see that, because I have a good view from that fence I’m sitting on.) I am very grateful we are a once a month market, and I am very grateful we still have 3 weeks and 2 days before the 3rd weekend of May, in my heart, I believe we will be able to have some form of a market by then. In the mean time, I will keep my distance comfortably over here, from my fence, and continue to plan for the future of Seaglass Salvage Market and Coffee Break at Seaglass.

I hope you are all well, and I hope you are able to acknowledge some good things from this crazy experience. It’s ok to feel all the feelings and to have a few bad days, just don’t allow the bad to outweigh the good. Don’t be afraid to reach out if you need help. Shop small (online), order curbside, show grace. These are the things that will help us all get through this. Most importantly, this too shall pass, and I hope we come out the other side a little wiser and more compassionate.

On a personal note, I’d like to remind everyone that April is Donate Life Month. If you are not a registered organ donor, please consider becoming one. If you follow the Lindsay M. Benton Foundation’s FB Page, thank you! If you don’t, please pop over and give it a like. This is usually the month we start reminding people about our organization and looking for Sponsors for our Annual Event. We’d greatly appreciate it if you’d add that event to your calendar! The Lindsay M. Benton Foundation Volleyball & Corn Hole Tournament is scheduled for 9/26/20, it is a fun community driven event in honor of an amazing young woman. You can learn more about her and the Foundation on our website.

We certainly hope to see you in May, until then, please be safe <3

Self Preservation

Just last week my friend Amy and I were talking about self care, whether it be yoga, meditation, or reading your favorite book for a few minutes, or an hour, self care really is different for everyone.

Sometimes I feel just as good about sitting down and making a list to keep my day on track as I do about spending some time doing yoga in a room with my friend Emily. The past couple of weeks have been different, that’s for sure, and we are not out of the woods yet. Social distancing is really making us use our imagination when it comes to just about everything! It seems to have put a lot of things into perspective. One thing I have realized is because of Social Media we are ALONE together! In the same sense you need to think about WHO you are surrounding yourself with. Anger, negativity, fear and whining can all come right through your phone or computer screen and affect your energy, even if you’re sitting alone in your living room. Pay attention to what you are reading, listening to and watching. I only listen to things that educate me or lift me up, and I know this truly makes a difference in my attitude.

I have been practicing social distancing, I only go where I need to, when I need to and I am extremely cautious while I am there. Brad however, is considered essential (I always believed that about him lol), so he must go to work every day. Everyone’s situation is different. No matter what your position is during this pandemic, everyone will somehow be affected by it. My message today is to just worry about yourself, and your people. It is not up to you WHO does what. The only thing you have control over is you, your family and your home. Focus on that. Wash your hands, wipe everything down with Clorox (or a similar disinfectant), use hand sanitizer and stay 6 feet apart from people when in public. Slow down, pay attention these are simple ways to slow the virus, and honestly, it’s not hard.

Teachers, Makers, Small Business Owners, Big Box Store employees, First Responders…a vast array of people, all different, all affected in one way or another. All with their own challenges and individual set of fears. Everyone is needing to find their own way. We need to show patience and grace as we all learn to navigate our way through a crisis.

As a small business owner, as an event planner these are very trying times. I have decided from day one I am not going to stop branding, marketing and sharing my business on Social Media because things have gotten tough. I have had to shift my mindset and focus on things that I have never had to “push” before. I am staying focused on my business, but I’m not afraid to say, I’m scared. I am learning each day, I am paying attention to the news, but not allowing myself to get inundated with information. My goal during this time is to stay relevant in our followers news feeds, help our vendors share their websites and groups, remind people to be kind, and possibly share a smile or two. That’s it! I am not going to make a fortune with this plan, but I do believe it will help Seaglass stay afloat, stay connected and it will help us thrive when all this is over. I also will continue to grow our online community and try to share interesting and important content. With the use of Social Media social distancing is not isolation and it’s nice to know we are not truly “alone.” As I learn to pivot my content I also need to remember how important self awareness and self care are during this time. Whether you take the time to organize a closet, paint your kitchen cabinets or build an empire…that is up to you. Don’t compare yourself to others, because sitting on the couch watching Tiger King on Netflix because you ordered a Firestick on Amazon to prepare for the pandemic, is ok too! This is a very personal journey.

I ask you to visit the social media pages or websites of our wonderful vendors, links can be found here & here. Join our online shopping group and follow us on Instagram, these little things may help small businesses stay alive during this crazy time. Stay safe all, and we hope to see you soon!

Adversity in Small Business and In Life

Well, this has been quite the week! No matter where you live it seems we’ve all been made very well aware of how quickly sickness (and rumors) can spread. As we get closer and closer to house arrest, many of us are trying to figure a few things out. Small Business owners are sure on the top of the list! I know the corona virus is affecting everyone, one way or another…and some people are just inundated with all the problems that come with something this serious, and honestly, I don’t think we’ve even seen the worst of it yet. New verbiage, like social distancing, has become the norm, and I have never disliked heading to Walmart more in my life. I hate to see the ugly and selfish in people…thank heavens the good will always outweigh the bad in my eyes. We all need patience and kindness right now. A little common sense and hand sanitizer certainly doesn’t hurt either.

#shoponline #curbsidepickup

For the second time in five years, we had to cancel our monthly market. The first cause was Hurricane Florence, the second is Covid-19. I struggled with whether or not I should open or close, but the CDC made the final decision for me. Still a hard pill to swallow. Being a once a month market everything we do is just so different from your typical brick and mortar, and “closing down” is no different. In typical Seaglass fashion, we are going to be just a little different from the other local events that needed to cancel. With 4 full days to create online presence, we will operate as the innovative, individual businesses we are, creating online stores, sell our product and then come together as a functioning curbside delivery service on day 5! What?! Yep, if you check out our Facebook Page you will find a list of participating vendors (links included), you can go to their individual pages and order whatever they have ready for purchase, after payment (preferably through invoicing, to avoid unnecessary contact) the item will be bagged up and you can pick it up curbside at Seaglass on Saturday 3/21 between the hours of 9 & 3. (Applebee’s got nothing on us!) Please note, Seaglass will not be open to the public, no one will be permitted in either warehouse. Once you arrive at the market your items will be brought out to you. That’s right, you will not need to leave your car. THAT is social distancing at its best!

As I read and learn what precautions we should be taking, I do want to share a few things. Get your info from the CDC or valid healthcare websites (not Facebook posts), wash your hands (more than usual), be aware of what you touch and where your hands are, wipe down things around you (often) and use hand sanitizer whenever you touch something. Distance yourself from others (stay home when possible), buy what you need (don’t be a hoarder), don’t kiss, hug or shake hands with people you may run into. That’s it…it’s not as hard as you think, most of this is common sense. Deep breath my friends, we can do this! I do want to add, check on your elderly neighbors, friends and family members, as they are probably terrified to go out. Oh, and be kind. Always be kind.

Friday I picked up a 30 day heart monitor. I cannot imagine this thing is getting an accurate reading. I have never been so anxious in my life. Just stepping into a medical complex with all this CRAZZZY going on was stressful. I’m worried about my kids (and grandson), I’m worried about my mom and mother in law and I’m worried about my fellow vendors, our community. This is not over yet, I pray we stay strong and focused and find a path out of this. I cannot wait till our monthly market is back to normal, but for now, I ask you to help us navigate some rough waters. I am not normally a person who stresses, but there sure are a lot of unknowns. Hopefully, I will get a good report at the end of the 30 days and the world as we knew it before all this will be back to normal, and since we’re imagining what WILL BE, maybe we will learn a few things from all this and things might even be better.

Stay safe. Be kind. Shop small.

A Sweet Little Getaway

Sometimes a getaway doesn’t have to be long, nor does it need to be far. A quick ride, to a sweet little town you have never visited before, may be just what the psychiatrist, oh sorry, Doctor, ordered!

Beaufort, NC (BOH-fert), not to be confused with Beaufort, SC (BEW-fert), yes, the are pronounced differently, and YES I had to think of the correct pronunciation EVERYTIME I said it in front of any locals, and that was the only stress we felt all weekend in this lovely little town. The third oldest town in the State of NC, and just about a 2 1/2 hour drive from home, was the perfect little getaway this past weekend. A fishing town, with shopping, restaurants and a beautiful waterfront was just what we needed!.

We stayed at a fairly new hotel, Beaufort Hotel, whose restaurant faces Carrot Island, an uninhabitable island to humans, which has an abundance of birds, wildlife and HORSES. Yep, how cool is that?! With that being said, I am assuming you have already guessed one of the highlights of my weekend! We saw 5 total, and it was soooooo cool. Sometimes, it really is the little things. It certainly didn’t hurt that the hotel is beautiful in its own right and every employee we encountered was as sweet as could be. The drinks were very good (my favorite was the Beaufort Mule), and the food was delicious. If you are looking for a wonderful place to stay, Brad and I both recommend this “Gem of the Crystal Coast.”

Even though it was a quick trip, we did have plenty of time to meander (that’s southern for wander around). We popped in and out of all the local shops, 2 great antique stores, and an Art Gallery. We had lunch with a friend (who is lucky enough to live in Moorehead City) at a hole in the wall local joint, Royal James Cafe, they claim to have the best burgers in Beaufort and I will tell you, they were really good, so were the fries. (I tried NOT to look and see if they had a health grade!) It was an experience and the place had LOTS of charm! Another highlight for me, was our visit to the Maritime Museum, I know! I was shocked too! We went from display to display looking at all the cool artifacts and exhibits. I was looking at what was one of the first life boats, a scary looking little thing I couldn’t imagine climbing into as a ship was sinking, when Brad read the adjoining plaque out loud, “Builder, Continental Works, Greenpoint, Brooklyn N.Y.” WHAT?!?!?! How crazy is that?!? I don’t know why I thought that was the COOLEST thing ever! (I’ve obviously gotten a little mellow in my old age! Hahaha.) Just in case you didn’t make the connection, I was born and raised in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. I immediately wondered if my Grandfather, who was a longshoreman, knew this company or people who worked there. I told Brad I had a connection to this sweet little town, and I loved it.

We headed back toward Leland Sunday, relaxed and happy, made a pit stop in New Bern, which could be another Blog about another sweet NC town! We made it home in time for the race, NASCAR for those of you who don’t know that that’s what “the race” means, which was just the icing on the cake for the hubs! Daylight savings time is not his favorite, since his alarm goes off at 1:15 AM but he didn’t seem as annoyed as I would have expected this morning! I’m sure it’s thanks to BOW-fort!

On a completly random note, I will say, SO many people commented on my hair color! One woman in particular asked me WHAT color it was. Brad said, “It’s all her!” lol it’s so funny to me that young people pay big bucks to have their hair dyed silver while us older ladies pay big bucks to hide that same color. (Proving we always want what we don’t have!) I wanted to share my stylists name, Teresa Connolly, and the hair product line she recommended, Loma*, because I LOVE both! If you are local to Leland and looking for a fabulous stylist, “on this side of the bridge,” please check her out! She is located in Magnolia Salon in Magnolia Greens, please be sure to tell her you heard about her from Coffee Break with Kelli!

My weekend started off on Friday with me posting in my private FB Group, Being HERd Through the Chaos, that I was having a good hair day, it was thanks to Teresa and Loma, and as you read, it set the stage for a great Saturday & Sunday…coincidence? I think not. Sometimes a good hair day is all you need to start a fantastic little getaway.

8 Simple Steps to Prepare for SPRING!

My mom and I were telling Brad how my grandmother used to iron EVERYTHING. T shirts, boxers, even sheets. I remember changing all the curtains in the house for each season. Soaking the venetian blinds in the tub. Scrubbing the baseboards. Spring cleaning was a thing. Is it today? Thank goodness for Swifter, Roomba, Clorox wipes and Mr. Clean things aren’t as difficult as they once used to be. I “iron” by shaking my clothes immediately out of the very hot dryer (not ALL the time, but most of the time!) I wonder if my grandma would think I was smart or lazy?!?!

I have an Aunt who decorates for pretty much EVERY SINGLE HOLIDAY, my idea of decorating is a new wreath on the door and even that has gotten less over the years. I pretty much go by season, not even holiday anymore. Inside, I will say, I change the tablecloth and lighten the decor when spring rolls around. I try to add flowers to the house whenever possible. I feel, since living down South, it has gotten easier, especially this year as there wasn’t really a winter, so other than Christmas there was no Winter Decor in my house. Do you go all out for the Holidays or for the Seasons when it comes to Home Decor?!

I tend to decorate with color. Originally, when we decorated our house the accent color was red (odd choice for me, as I am not a red girl) after some time, I grew bored with the red and I pulled it out and added grays and whites, Brad blamed Joanne Gaines for that. So simple. All the big things are neutral (furniture & wall color for example) so when I’m ready for a change it’s so easy to pull and change the accent pieces. We’ve been in our home for 8 years, the bathrooms are ready for a change. I dread it and keep putting it off, but it’s time. I have put it off, because, well … wallpaper, ugh, what were we thinking?! Spring project? Who knows?

Does Spring Cleaning only pertain to your home? Once January rolls around I start thinking about what I can change within me…spiritually and mentally. Sometimes I think about making changes physically but that never lasts very long, LOL. Then, as the weather warms up, and I know spring isn’t far away I think about really growing or moving forward either personally or professionally. Being Catholic, the Lenten Season always brings some reflection as well. It’s funny how Spring always stirs the feeling of change in me, I often wonder if I’m the only one? Winter has the opposite affect on me, I think I have a touch of SAD, so it would make sense that I come alive with the end of winter and daylight savings time. The flowers and trees bloom, the days are longer, the weather is warmer. Life is happy again…until SUMMER. I am not a fan of extreme heat, but I’d rather be hot in the summer than shovel in the winter! LOL.

I have the same quick 8 steps that I follow each year, to prepare for the blossoming of a new Spring Season:

  • Declutter – get rid of all the random stuff that ends up taking over your home when the colder weather is around!
  • Trade out warm (darker colored) throws for lightweight (brighter colored) throws.
  • Plants! Work in some greens (real and faux).
  • Placement of a few bright, oversized florals. (Feeling crazy? Make citrus inspired centerpieces!)
  • Change up pillows.
  • Change up table runners, table cloths and place mats.
  • Change up your bedroom linens (Lighter, brighter!)
  • Change your candle scents.

What are your simple tricks to change your decor from one season to the next? Do you have any big plans for changing something in your home or yourself this year?

Some old-fashioned things, like fresh air and sunshine, are hard to beat.

-Laura Ingalls Wilder
2020-03-19T00:00:00

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Spring!

Is it Monday, Again?

Each week I promise myself I am going to get “it ” together. Each Monday comes and goes and not much changes. One day, I really do believe it’s going to happen, but, in all honesty, it won’t be today. I have gotten a little better with some things, and worse with others. I always thought when my kids were grown and life slowed down I would be sooooo good at being a middle aged woman. Yeah, well, whatever.

I have the time, just not the patience, and I’ve also noticed I cannot focus like I used to. I struggle just to read a book. Brain Fog. Sometimes I wonder if the rushing around HELPED me get things done, I had no choice, I couldn’t sit and wait till later because there’d be something else going on later. I had that mentality, the one I see so many mom’s with, that thought that busy-I mean crazy busy-is a good thing. I used to wear it like a badge. I see many small business owners doing it as well, using the words hustle and grind, acting like if you’re not working 24/7 you’re not working. The best line I ever heard was, “work smarter, not harder.” If that resonates with you, you may want to take a deep breath and slow your roll. In the same sense, you don’t want to slow it too much, cause it’s kinda hard to speed it up again. Life really is all about balance, but does anyone ever really find the right balance?! I’ve been struggling with that lately.

I’ve never been organized which I guess is part of the problem too, I have become a LISTS person. Not by choice, by necessity. Just ask ALEXA, she’ll tell ya! I sure do appreciate her “shopping list” option…no more leaving the list on the counter (Lord knows, my phone is always with me so my list is now too!) I have a written calendar, as well as my phone calendar, unfortunately, they very rarely match. That brings be back to the Brain Fog. IT’S SO ANNOYING. I know it must be just as annoying for those around me. I forget a lot and I repeat myself. I also start ALL THE THINGS and finish none of them. Menopause is not for the faint of heart! (I have found that I blame all my current issues on menopause, it’s easier than saying I’ve become lazy or careless.)

Pulling a big event together each month seems odd considering all the things I just told you about myself, but…that’s what I do. Currently, there are 22 vendors in The Original Building and there are 17 vendors in The Annex of Seaglass Salvage Market. We also have outdoor vendors when weather permits and a different food truck at each day of market. Marketing Seaglass as a whole is a job in itself, but I also need to Market Brad’s lights and my sweet little coffee shop. I feel like I spend an unbelievable amount of time online! There are many different apps out there that help you post daily, but I don’t want to lose my personality online. So for now, I’ll continue to do it old school. Plus, I am technically challenged, which means the things that are supposed to make my life easier usually stress the $h*t out of me…so, there’s that.

I love what I do, and I know that is a blessing. I see people, very close to me, working a job that makes them miserable but, if you’re the breadwinner, unfortunately, that is what makes sense for your family. I am very lucky to have a supportive husband and we are at a time in our life where we can breathe a little easier knowing our children are grown and almost all are out on their own. My life, as opposed to a young mom with a husband who “doesn’t get her dream,” is very different. So you can’t compare yourself and your small business to another. One thing I find myself saying, over and over, to people just starting out is, “don’t compare” and “stay in your lane.” The people who act like it’s so easy, struggle daily too…they just hide it better.

I guess my point is, you don’t have to be perfect to get it all done and there will be days where YOU DON’T get it all done…find your zone, admit your faults, learn and grow daily, admit when you need help and give help when you do know what you’re doing. As I sit in my lanai, typing this blog and listening to a pod cast, I have a local company cleaning my house…I cannot do it all, and I no longer am ashamed to say that out loud. I have grown into a woman who has become very transparent, because having a bad memory doesn’t really allow you to tell little fibs or leave out little details to make yourself look better…because I can’t keep up with what I tell to who, so I must tell the truth. THAT is very freeing, I am who I am, like me, hate me or maybe fall somewhere in the middle. Either way, you get what you get.

It has taken me 52 years to say out loud, I may not be everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s OK! Looking back I realize how much time I wasted trying to be everything for everyone. Age does have it’s advantages, it’s not all gray hair and menopause brain.

Can’t or Won’t

What is the difference between can’t and won’t? Can’t means you don’t have the skill, won’t means you don’t have the desire. I feel a lot of us get the two confused. Well, at least I do.

I hear myself saying, “I can’t lose weight.” When in actuality I should say “I won’t lose weight,” because I am not really trying. I am not making any changes. Can’t makes it easier to walk away without blame. I have started asking myself, “you can’t, or you won’t?” It helps me be accountable for the decisions I am making.

I shared a “meme” today in one of our FB groups, “Whatever you are not CHANGING, you are CHOOSING.” Read that again. (The “read that again” was actually part of it, but I do in fact want you to read it again.) How many times do you wish things were different, how many times do you stop and make a conscious decision to change the things you can and then just don’t? Sometimes we just go through the motions, we allow habits or the easy way to become the norm. Worse yet, we are stuck or trapped. You can change your environment, your thoughts and the roads you travel. Whether it be business or personal life, take baby steps to change what your gut is telling you needs changing! That feeling in “your gut,” is your intuition, and it is A THING…listen to it.

My current change isn’t a big one, I have decided to listen to my body more, pay attention to the little aches and pains and try to find ways to take better care of myself. Why do we need to act big and strong and “suffer through” when that is not necessary?!?! I visited with my Doctor, earlier than my planned annual physical, and there are some numbers that are off and we’re working on getting them where they should be. I also have discovered Myofascial Release Massage, and this tired, old body is already very grateful. I no longer feel guilty taking an hour a month and spending the money to help my body rest. Once a month I visit Christie Chadwick at Leland Holistic Wellness, for my massage, which sometimes is a mix of myofascial release, massage and reiki. I look forward to the time to stop and allow my body, and my mind, to rest. When you tell yourself that you can’t find the time, STOP and make sure you in fact, won’t find the time. You will find time for the things you want to, and self care is a very good reason to find the time. You cannot take care of everyone else if you never take care of yourself. Changes don’t have to be HUGE, they just need to be a step in getting you from where you are to where you want to be and it’s ok to invest in yourself!

Is there something you know you need to change and you just refuse to find a way or the time to do it?

It isn’t always about having time, its about making time.

Being HERd Through the Chaos

I’m a fan of podcasts, love to follow Blogs and I’ve learned a few things from some awesome influencers. One thing I have noticed is most of them are cute, young and blonde. I, currently, am none of those things. I can’t be the only one who feels there are a bunch of middle aged, chubby women with good ideas, a sense of style and encouraging thoughts to share. Am I?

I’m a daughter, a mother, a wife (and an ex-wife), a step-mom, a grandma and a business owner. I know a little, about a lot. I love to talk, laugh and tell a story (usually exaggerated, but that’s not the point.) I’m loud (not my fault, I’m from Brooklyn) I always interrupt people (no self control), and I truly love meeting, and helping people.

As I grow my blog, and share the posts to Being HERd Through the Chaos (<–click there to join the FB Group) I’d also love to grow what I have been referring to as my “HERd Community,” consisting of three FB groups. The other two being,
Be HERd – Personal Growth (private but open to all women-click to join) and Be HERd – Small Business (private, open only to female business owners). My goal is for like minded women to have a place to come together to share stories, share ideas, learn from, and, appreciate each other. A no judgement zone, where you can ask what others are probably thinking and get honest answers from people who may have already gone through what your trying to navigate.

I may bring up ideas, or ask a few questions, and I would love feedback either here on the blog, or, in the FB Group. Have something you’d like to discuss? Shoot me a private message. If you’re a business owner and interested in Sponsored Content or advertising on the blog, please send me a message.

You will see items I will share from local business that I love and recommend, as well as affiliate links from Amazon*, and I will do my best not to cross lines. I love shopping local and Seaglass is all about local, so you won’t find amazon links for products similar to items sold by vendors at the market.

*As an Amazon Affiliate I will be compensated, at no cost to you, from Amazon if you click and purchase and item through my link.

If you’re here, I am glad, and I look forward to sharing my life and my thoughts with you each month!

Reset

January sure was a long month, and now, I have a feeling, February is going to fly by. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, about myself, about Seaglass and about being a business owner. As the months and years go by and complacency starts to set in, you can’t help but wonder…”what’s next?” In 2019 we had a big addition to the Market, it was spur of the moment and we jumped in, and, I am thrilled to say, we have no regrets. 2020 had another big change for us as we did a 180 and turned our space into a sweet little coffee shop, once again, no regrets! Life is good right?!?! WELLLLLLLLL, I have had on my mind for over a year that I (me, Kelli Benton, not the owner of Seaglass) would love to have a Blog, a real one, not one that pertains to our Market, one that talks to “my people.” One that speaks to middle aged women about being, well, middle aged. Menopause, gray hair, marriage, empty nesting, grandchildren, shopping your age (and your weight), living, laughing and loving. You know, ALL. THE. THINGS.

I am a big fan of Podcasts, and they all tend to be about growing your business, putting yourself out there, what to do and what NOT to do. I love learning from strong, female, entrepreneurs and then sharing what I have learned with other small business owners. I have a ton of ideas of what I want this Blog to become, I may have to readjust and reset more than once to get it flowing the way I want, and the one thing I have learned is, THAT’S OK! I’m looking forward to growing and facing my fears and finding my way. I hope you’ll be good with joining me on this journey.

I need to find a name for my new endeavor, as it’s not Seaglass that I’ll be writing about, although I am sure every now and then it will find it’s way in there, as it’s a big part of my life currently! Two suggestions were “Kelli’s Chaos” and “Coffee & Chaos,” what are the chances two different people associate me with chaos?!!

As I refocus and move forward in planning a new format I am kinda excited to hear your thoughts, and maybe some suggestions as to what you’d like to hear about and, since I’d like it to be interactive, what you’d like to talk about.

I think I’ll be posting once a week, probably on Monday, as I feel it will be a fun way to start the week…but who knows, I might change my mind on that too!

Kelli : )