Ready or Not

There was no sunrise this morning, but daylight has arrived. Nothing for me to watch and oh and ah over on this cloudy morning, but the darkness has disappeared and it is officially a new day. Somethings are guaranteed. A new day will dawn and life will go on…whether you are ready or not.

Life right now is…off. I want to do things, but when I do, I’m sorry I started them. If I sit and do nothing, I wish I was doing something. It is a constant feeling of being unsatisfied. The Market this past weekend helped, and it didn’t. (See what I mean?) It was good to work and feel useful, and in the same sense I hated acting like everything was ok…back to normal. So many people came to buy the DONATE LIFE Bracelets, now THAT made me happy. My TRIBE, those random, crazy people who somehow became a 2nd family to me, THEY make me happy. The Lindsay M. Benton Cheer Fund makes me so happy, seeing people from all walks of life take time out of their day to mail their hard earned money to a Fund that is so important to my family truly makes my heart feel good. I have faith in humanity again, through the simple kindness of others. I cannot ever truly thank the people who have held my hand through this…and the cool part is, I don’t have to, they know, they don’t need recognition.

I told someone yesterday I have learned what to do and not to do when someone suffers a tragedy. First, show up. Let the person know that you are there for them. Second, leave. Don’t overstay your welcome, the truth is there is nothing you can do…hug them, tell them your sorry and go home. Third, stay in the background. Pop in and out, send a text, be ready to show up when their family has to head home or go back to work and last, keep in touch, touch base weekly or monthly or whatever…just keep in touch, don’t expect a reply every time and don’t take anything personal, THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU. (That last one is REALLY important especially as time goes on because it will get worse before it gets better.)

Each day is a new day, daylight will come and life will go on…be patient with me while I figure it all out and be ready to grab my hand and help me jump back on when I’m ready…and NO I have no idea when I will be ready. One day at a time has never been more meaningful to me. It’s hard to mourn and heal when you are so worried about everyone around you mourning and healing…this young ladies life and death was a tidal wave. The ripples crated by this wave go beyond depths of lives lived 5 x’s longer. My heart aches, literally, anyone who suffers a great loss knows that pain, it doesn’t go away you just learn to live with it. I’m trying…bear with me.

Thank you,

Kelli🙂

 

 

“How are you?” (Part III)

While walking on the beach today in complete silence with my husband I was looking down at all the shells trying to find one with “meaning.” Everything now has to
have a meaning. Ladybugs, butterflies, clouds, even shells. I willet_2thought of my sweet friend Tovi who looks for hearts everywhere, and finds them everywhere, so I was looking pretty hard for a sign from Lindsay. I didn’t find a shell or a cloud but there was a very fast paced bird, with long legs walking directly in front of us for a bit, if we walked faster it walked faster. Lindsay never walked WITH us always in front of us. I smiled and thought well, there she is. If you look you shall find.

How are you? What a question. Such an easy way to start a conversation, but there are times when you just need NOT ask. I cannot speak for Lindsay’s parents, I can only speak for myself. How am I? The easiest way I can explain it is how I felt when I was walking on the beach…anxious, confused, and tired. I NEEDED to see a sign, I NEEDED to feel Lindsay. So I was looking SO HARD, every minute that passed brought me disappointment. It was all I could think about. I wasn’t enjoying the sun, the beautiful sky or all the amazing shells on the beach because for right now they just don’t even exist. I have that feeling you get when you know you’re forgetting something. I have that feeling in my belly when you have to do something you hate doing. I feel like I am in slow motion and the rest of the world is on normal time. I feel sad. I feel weird. I feel like something is missing. I still have not truly wrapped my head around it, and I honestly wonder if I ever will. That’s how I am.

My husband is very down to earth, his thought process is so much more simple than mine. As we were driving home he said, I was looking for a sign from her today on the beach and I realized I didn’t need one because I was walking in one of her favorite places, so that made me feel close to her. img_7485He used to HATE walking on the beach…I have a feeling we are going to spend more time there.

 

Little things make us happy, or as happy as we can be, for the moment and that is how we are living right now … moment to moment. We are hanging in and doing the best we can, that’s how we are.

The Market is this week and although I know it won’t be easy, I am looking forward to it. It’s a busy time and it will keep me occupied and it makes me happy. I get to see all you amazing people and I also get to laugh (and work) with my tribe. Smile, hug me, even tell me how sorry you are…but please, don’t ask me how I am.
I want to thank you for all the kind words about my writing, it is what has kept me going, in actuality all y’all (yep,this Yankee just used that in a sentence!) are my very inexpensive therapists…thank you for that. I look forward to seeing you this coming weekend.

Have a good night,

Kelli🙂

 

Blessings During The Storm (Part II)

I am Catholic, born and raised, I believe in God, I believe in His son Jesus Christ and I accept him as my Savior. I have never SEEN Him, I have never really FELT him.

Well, until now.

Losing a step child and watching, up close and personal,the man I love lose a child and watching him and her mother struggle through every parents worse nightmare is something I will never forget. It has changed me. It has changed my faith…not in the way you might think.

 

The people who came into our lives since the accident have been a blessing. They have given me back my faith in humanity. Trooper’s Ransom and Strangman, Dr’s Huffmon, Smith and Stoiko, Trauma Nurses Deani, Elizabeth and Mike, Palliative Support Sarah Blake, Hospital Chaplin Cheryl and Organ Donation Coordinator Rodney Pilson make me want to be a better person. Their kindness, support, and dedication to their job is beyond amazing. They made a horrible situation somewhat bearable. They laughed and cried with us and became part of our family, there are no words to thank them for all they did for Lindsay, for us. (There were many others with the STICU at NHRMC that helped us as well, they are an unbelievable group of people.) Charles Gainey from Andrews Mortuary & Crematorium guided us with compassion and Jessie and Elizabeth helped us find a beautiful resting spot in Oleander Memorial Gardens for our sweet girl. Both businesses handled our situation above and beyond what was expected of them, and in turn, touched our hearts. There are no words for Pastor Kenny Chinn and Northside Baptist Church, the love and personalization of her visitation and service touched the heart of everyone who attended. (One young man was saved after the service and another family joined the church they were so moved.)

While we continued to pray for Lindsay to come back to us, there were so many things going on around us, slowly the stories began to unravel through visits and emails of the many Angels who were helping us through each day.

After Kellie prayed about Lindsay being alone after the accident, we received 2 emails from complete strangers who stopped to help Lindsay immediately following the accident. Carolyn and her husband Ralph Rocchio was first on the scene, because of him, (2 other unknown men), and Amy Tribou, Lindsay’s parents prayers were answered. She was NEVER alone for one minute after the accident. She did not wait alone for help to arrive. These kind strangers waited and spoke to her, hoping she might hear them, until the first responders got there.

While making arrangements for Lindsay to fulfill her wish to be an organ donor, Kellie randomly mentioned (almost outloud to herself) how she wished she had a kit to make a mold of Lindsay’s hand. A friend had checked Michaels, Hobby Lobby and Walmart the day before and was unable to find one. Rodney Pilson smiled when he said “I have one in my car.” Rodney is from Winston-Salem and was standing in for the regular rep who usually handles Wilmington, he was not supposed to be there that day but God put him where he needed to be. His dedication to his job and his respect and kindness to our family will never be forgotten.

My husband asked about Direct Donation  (a request made by a donor or a donor family to transplant to a specific recipient.) When asked, “Do you know someone who needs a transplant?” He responded, “Yes, my friend’s wife needs a Kidney.” This immediately started a ball rolling and she successfully received Lindsay’s (left) Kidney, because, amazingly enough she was a match! 2 other recipients also received gifts from Lindsay and both surgeries have been successful. Lindsay dream was to be a trauma surgeon, to save lives. Her goal was reached, not in the way we had expected or planned, BUT she was saving lives.

There were other small miracles happening each day that always seemed to come when we were exhausted and ready to fall apart…they gave us the strength we needed to carry on. Even today the stories have continued.

I watched, and was honored to be part of, a family pull together and gain strength from each other and from God. I saw a Neurosergeon cry with my husband, because he too is a father. I saw family and friends and an entire community lift a family up in prayer and kindness. I FELT love from strangers and friends alike. I do not know why God needed to take her, I will never understand it as long as I live, but one day I shall stand in front of Him and I will ask Him…but until then I know I will see this beautiful young lady again and because I knew her, I will strive to be a better person and I know I am not the only one. She left us way too soon, but she left this world a better place because she was here and did more in 17 years than I have done in 49…but that is going to change, starting today.

Rest in Peace Lindsay M. Benton, thank you for allowing me to be part of your life and thank you for renewing my faith.

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So many people have asked, if we can do anything, please let us know, well here you go…please consider donating to the Lindsay M. Benton Cheer Scholarship Fund c/o Wilmington Christian Academy 1401 N. College Rd. Wilmington NC 28405

AND please become an organ donor.

 

Thank you to all for your love and support,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Moment in Time (Part I)

Sunday, August 21, 2016. As my husband and I were heading out for dinner, somewhere around 5:40ish, he yelled up the stairs to his daughter Lindsay, “home straight from dinner, school tomorrow.” I’m sure she answered “Yes, Sir.” I didn’t pay attention, or say anything, not even goodbye, as I knew I would be seeing her in a couple of hours. She was leaving at 6:00 to meet a friend for dinner at Tower 7 in Wilmington. A last hurrah before her first official day of Senior year the next morning. We’d all be back safe and sound by 8:00, wouldn’t we? I’d see her then.

We sat down at Pizzettas in Leland, ordered and were chatting about Seaglass, we got the call at 6:08. (((Don’t panic, don’t panic))) We explained we had an emergency and had to leave, walked quickly, maybe jogged?!, to the car and headed to Compass Pointe, that was one of the few words Brad was able to make out from Lindsay’s moms frantic phone call. That 5 minute ride felt like a lifetime. (((Positive thoughts, don’t panic))) Then we saw it, sirens, first responders, ambulances, cops. (((DO NOT PANIC))) I ran to the closest Policeman he knew who I was looking for, “Go to the hospital Sweetheart, go to New Hanover.” That was all he would say. My husband scanned the scene for her car, he found it. He did not speak, I did not shut up, it was the longest ride of our lives.

Emergency Room, no answers, Nurses, Doctors, Chaplains, phone calls, Trauma Doctors, Surgeons, Neurosurgeons. No answers. Emergency Surgery, very low chance of survival. Medicines? Allergies? No time to waste. Sit, wait. Wait. Wait. Is this really happening? Family. Friends. Teachers. Administrators. Prayers. So many prayers. Wait. Cry. Positive thoughts. Terrible thoughts, no ONLY positive thoughts. 2 hours felt like 2 days. Here he comes, Dr. Huffmon, man of few words. She survived the surgery, she is alive, very low survival rate. That’s it?! Seriously? Wait. Wait. There was a herd (as my southern husband would say) at the hospital that night, and we all walked together up to the Surgical Trauma Intensive Care Unit (STICU). Men, women, kids. Family, friends, teachers. Openly crying and scared. Is this really happening?! It was 1:30 Monday morning when we told the kids and teachers there was nothing they could do, we would get no news any time soon and they needed to go home. It was the first day of school, they needed to get some rest.

We spent 7 days at the STICU.

Lindsay never regained consciousness, we would later find out if she had been an adult they would have never done the surgery, it would have been called a fatal accident, but, because of her age they had to give her every chance. We held her hand, cried, prayed, laughed, sang Beyoncé and begged her to come back. Each day gave us more bad news, each day we continued to pray. Lindsay was getting tired, her body was exhausted, she knew it was time to let go, we had to listen to her. Our prayers for recovery turned to prayers for peace.

Sunday, August 28, 2016 5:16 PM exactly one week to the day (almost to the hour), we held her hand and cried as we said goodbye to a young lady who would soon become a hero. A girl who turned a terrible story into a story of hope.

Tomorrow I will continue the story of hope and how a terrible accident change my life, and my faith, forever.

Thank you for letting me tell our story,

Kelli

So many people have asked, if we can do anything, please let us know, well here you go…please consider donating to the Lindsay M. Benton Cheer Scholarship Fund c/o Wilmington Christian Academy 1401 N. College Rd. Wilmington NC 28405

Community

Although Seaglass is not a hobby for me, I feel I may look at MY business a little different than most. I want a feeling of camaraderie, a place where the vendors WANT to be, a place where customers feel like they are visiting a friend. I use the term GOOD VIBE TRIBE often, and I use it with intention. Yes, we are all there to make money and yes, you come there to shop…BUT that is not my priority. My priority is to create a community of friends who come together once a month to share ideas, see whats new, catch up, drink some coffee and while all that is going on if you see something you can’t live without, by all means, buy it!

I believe in positive thinking, I believe in affirmations, I believe there is a want for good, old fashioned, neighborly small business. People like to be remembered, they like when you look them in the eyes and sincerely welcome them back. My goal as a business owner is to build a happy community, that happens to sell some amazing product.

Seaglass Salvage Market is 2 years old this month! We have encountered some hurdles and changed direction once or twice…but one thing has remained the same. Seaglass has a good VIBE, there is a feeling of friendship and empowerment between the vendors that you can literally FEEL when you wander from space to space. We work together, laugh together and help each other.  We have formed friendships, endured hardships, lifted each other up, cheered each other on and moved forward as a group. THAT makes me proud of the Brand we are creating.

Although one of the goals of Seaglass Vendors is to make sure the product and look changes each month, there is one thing that must be consistent for me to continue, I want a relationship with our customers and I want our vendors to build relationships with them as well. Money is important, but the consistency of the tone of how we interact with each other and all of you is what makes Seaglass what it is.

Yes, in order to have a business one must make a profit, but, to create a brand and keep customers coming back, one must build a community. If you’re reading this, whether it be directly through the blog or through social media, you are part of our community, and we thank you!

With the help of my sweet friend Heidi, I have found an affirmation for me to recite each day as a business owner whose business plan may be a little different than most…

We mindfully build our community by lifting each other up in support. Our vibe attracts our tribe, and we create a sum that is greater than its parts. (KICK A** right?!?! We think so too!) 

We look forward to seeing you at the next Market, August 19th 9-3 and 20th 9-5, if you are part of our community, you already know where…but, just in case, 1987 Andrew Jackson Hwy., Leland, NC 28451.

Until then,

Reuse. Recycle. Restyle.

Kelli🙂

Vendor Q & A

I asked our Indoor Vendors some random questions! Here are their answers…I chimed in as well!

1. What is your favorite piece to paint?

Kim (with Soul Pickets): Children’s Tables and Chairs with a theme!

Rachel (with Rachel Allen Design): My fave piece is my signature Dessert Pedestals!

Pat (with In the Sand): Anything that sits still, EXCEPT  chairs.

Amy (with The Painted Mermaid): Anything carved, with lots of narvelous nooks and crannies🙂

Jane (with Gravel Road Designs): I love painting seating…chairs, benches, stools.

Mike (with Kinzie Krafts): Anything but chairs!

Lyndsey (with Salted Magnolia in with The Painted Mermaid): Anything unique or ornate. The stranger or fancier the better.

Tovi (with Simply tovi):  Love to paint chairs and chests/buffets, mirrors and frames , architectural pieces, lamps, China cabinets , tables, oh wait that’s everything!

Kelli: I love Buffets or Sideboards.

2. Currently, what is your favorite color, to paint and/or decorate with?

Pat: Peacock

Jane: I love General Finishes color “Linen” for customers. Neutral and can be used with any decor.

Rachel: Um Seaglass Blue of course, also known as teal or Provence, buuuut Duck Egg is the customers fave!

Amy: I tend to mix colors. My mix inspired by the Southport Waterfront wall will always be my favorite

Lyndsey: White, Blues, greens, greys, and anything chippy or worn

Heidi (with Serendipity Jewelry): If it’s a color, I like it!

Tovi: Take a wild guess!?…ummmm Duck egg blue!

Kelli: Muted, Neutral Blues, Greys and Beiges. 

3. What are your favorite mediums to work with, whether it be for art or jewelry?

Kerri (with Rescued Rubbish): Rusty Metal junk for our lighting. I also have a love for steampunk jewelry even though I rarely offer it for sale. Love using watch parts and any tiny metal thingymajigs.

Terry (with Terry Ganey Art): OOOOOO!!! Me too!! I have a bunch of rigs, gears, etc. Love Steampunk❤ My all time favorite medium is acrylic – it dries quickly. (I’m inpatient 😁), you can use it right out the tube and it is close to using oils, or thin it out with water, and it becomes closer to watercolors. Very versatile. 

Heidi:  I love creating with stone, crystal, and mineral beads. Made in nature, they are found in nearly every color. Flaws and imperfections only add to their beauty. There’s nothing like the thrill of making adornments that Mama Earth has created first. The energy of every piece is unique!

Jenn (with Jellyfish Tide):  If it’s soft enough to stamp, I love it! Aluminum is so versatile because it can be shiny or brushed. But pewter is probably my favorite because of its shine. I also love how my stamps sink into the surface of pewter.

Pat: Wood…it smells so good…you can shape it, sand it, paint it, stain it, mold it, curve it, then refinish it, repaint it, reuse it ….. (she then proceeded to quote Bubba and the famous shrimp line from Forrest Gump!!)

Amy: Old silver plate and copper dishes are my current favorite for flowers, suns, etc. 🙂

Mike: Old wood with age and character.

Kim: Pieces from the internal guts of anything that can be disassembled. The weirder the better, especially when someone has to ask what it is after you use it.

Tovi: Anything with clean classic lines OR intricate details.

4A. Do you watch HGTV? What is your favorite show?

4B.What is your go to website (or magazine) for ideas and inspiration?

Jenn: Fixer Upper. I ❤️ Chip & Jo! 

Jane: A. Yes. Sarah Richardson and Fixer Upper.
B. Coastal Living & Country Living…

Lyndsey: A. Fixer upper all the way.
B. Coastal living, Southern Living

Pat: 1-Flea Market Flip, 2-Beachfront Bargain Hunt

Kim: Color Splash with David Bromstad. It’s not really on anymore but this was one cool guy. Very outside the box and original.

Lisa (with Vintage Finds & Design):  I watch Flea Market Flip, Fixer Upper and Property Brothers.

Sheila (with She ReShells): Fixer Upper and Flea Market Flip.

Tovi:  A. Fixer Upper B. Pinterest and all decorating magazines (LOVE magazines) from country living to costal living to traditional home and veranda…all interior mags.

Kelli: A. Also Fixer Upper! B. Website: Pinterest. Magazines: Boho Style, Country Living, Southern Living. (Oh and Veranda!) 

5. What is your guilty pleasure?! Is there something you CANNOT walk by in an antique, thrift or resale store without HAVING to buy it?

Kim:  It “used to be” portraits that were a little “whacky” in character and “bad” – but interesting “cool” original art!

Pat: Any piece of furniture with cool legs!

Kerri: Just ONE thing???

Lisa: I have many more than one!I love footstools, lamps, scales, boxes, and unique industrial things. The list also includes radios and clocks!!

Heidi:  I love tiny vessels-honey pots and sugar bowls.

Jane: A chair. .never met a chair I didn’t love. For my personal collection it’s a vintage tin wind-up top.

Tovi: I adore chairs and silver/silver plate and for myself…white or cream soup tureens (obsessed) ❤️

Kelli: Mermaids! 

 

I enjoyed this so much, hope y’all do too! Do you have any questions for our vendors? Please let us know!

Until next time,

Reuse. Recycle. Restyle.

Kelli🙂

 

Looking For A New Marketing Outlet?

As most of you know, SSM is a once a month Market in Leland. We are very grateful for the following we have acquired and we are very proud of the growth we see each month, both in foot traffic and on our website and social media pages, which we work diligently on every day! 

 
SSM, as planned, is becoming a destination for locals, transplants and tourists alike, and each month I get the same questions …”Can you recommend similar type places to us?” or “Where should we head next?” I very happily point them in your direction, which gave me an idea. While they are planning their Seaglass day trip wouldn’t it be so convenient for them to plan out their whole day? OR what if they head to our website only to find out it isn’t SEAGLASS WEEKEND? Wouldn’t it be perfect if they could find YOUR shops addresses and business hours? Wouldn’t it be lovely if they could find your Shopify or Etsy pages, knowing you are recommended by a business they trust?
 
We are very proud to be part of the #shopsmall #shoplocal revolution and we also believe we need to work together, and market together,  to keep it going. I have created a page (click to see 2 samples) on our website that I will share and market as a #shoplocal Directory with the intention of showing consumers we are people, not corporations, who support each other and believe we are all in this together. Good Vibes, positive words, encouragement and cross marketing of local businesses (whether it be brick and mortar or online shops) can only lead to good things! Most of the artists and artisans we come across are women, and although this is not a prerequisite, it would be nice to lift each other up!
 
The fee for joining our page is $20.00 per month (1 month free, if you pay 1 year in full.) This would include your logo on our page with a link to your Website, Blog, FB Page, or Online Shop, weekly marketing on our Social Media Pages, as well as an opportunity to be a “guest blogger” on our blog. We hope to eventually collaborate on social media pages as well to help each other gain and maintain consumers who are interested in the small shop items we all carry. 
 
New Hanover and Brunswick Counties are FULL of so many talented people, and that is who we are reaching out to! If you are interested in joining us with this innovative way of marketing for the #shopsmall community in Leland and Wilmington (and surrounding areas) please contact us at SeaglassSalvageMarket@gmail.com to schedule an appointment for us to come visit you to set up your link!
Kelli🙂